Most importantly - what keeps you from killing yourself and ending the torment of life on earth when you aren't anything more than an assemblage of protein and electricity?
This is like a living hell - a realization of nothing, that none of this exists, nothing is real, and nothing matters. It is not liberating - it is absolutely terrifying. And there are no hard and fast answers. This is what my torment for the last few weeks has been. This is why when people ask me "How are you doing?" I say - "fine." I don't say - "struggling to come to grips with the idea that I may not be a unique personality with free will, lacking any sense of self, creativity, intelligence, or purpose."
Everything's changing - everything's deteriorating - everything's falling apart.
