2. No, really - why do I work here again?
3. Had to start eating meat again because my intestines are defective.
4. 7 FUCKING WEDDINGS. I am never doing that for you bastards ever again, you hear me?
4a. Divorce is a long, prolonged, painful process, even for your friends. Don't pretend that it's not.
5. Quit smoking while mostly hiding from the world.
6. Learned that misanthropy is a valid social relation method.
7. Learned that I will have to go back into therapy if I ever want to have faith in the human race EVER AGAIN.