Hoc Est Qui Sumus (discoflamingo) wrote,
Hoc Est Qui Sumus
discoflamingo

In retrospect, I should have exhibited more brand loyalty

So last week (I think), I discovered that I had a bunch of weird bug-bite looking things all over my torso. "GROSS!" you say? Yes, I know - it is. Could it be bedbugs? Possibly - but there are none of the tell-tale signs that indicate a bedbug infestation (I invite you to examine the Harvard paper which shows up in the first five Google hits for details). For a day or two, the bites were in groups of three along a line - which is a classic parasitic bug thing. But then they just got random. Like, heavily random. To be safe, I put on a mattress cover, which should have protected me from the brunt of their assault. It has also made sleeping every night like total ass, since I keep waking up in hot sweats thinking I've had a nightmare, but no, I'm just pissed off that I'm really way too warm. Still, no sign of the bugs.

The bite-looking things keep coming, and they are also . . . moving. Perhaps they aren't bites - perhaps they're just an allergic reaction to something new. Like that laundry detergent I used when mine was out (Era), with which my roommate was so gracious to supply me . Since all of my clothes were laundered with Era since I was in diapers, I didn't think that likely. Maybe it's my soap? Zest Extreme Hyper Sensitive Man-Goat Something-Or-Other? Possibly, dear reader - just possibly enough.

A trusted co-worker also brought up the possibility that it might be dust mites, in which case I should "vacuum those sons-of-bitches into the next world". Well put, Bob - well put. I just need a time to vacuum where the person upstairs (who drives a school bus and gets up at four in the morning) won't curse me out for waking her up (which means I almost need to knock off work early to take care of this).

Long story short, I haven't gotten a whole lot of sleep each night, constantly checking for the bedbug signs, buying a mattress cover (Fuck You, Target - hide it a little more next time), and trying to cook. Oh yeah, I'm cooking more for myself these last two weeks too. I found out where they hide the hot water (I have to haul it up from the laundry room) and now I can do my dishes.

So to make a long story short, I bought a bunch of my old detergent (Seventh Gen - not affiliated with White Wolf) and my favorite soap (Chandrika Ayurvedic - Ensure Your Personal Charm [Available at Cub]). Tomorrow we'll see just how non-allergenic I can be.
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