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13 May 2006 @ 12:29 pm
"If you need me, I'll be in the Anger-Dome!"*  
Last night was a special production of the Luigi Pirandello favorite, Six Ingredients In Search of a Dish. The cast was as follows:

P L A Y B I L L
Tinkerbell: One Tiny Can of Tomato Sauce
A Lazy Brown Fox: One Can of Black Beans (No Salt Added)
Rose Red: One Can of Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce
Picasso: One Largish White Onion, Cut Rustic Style
Estragon: One Cup of Cooked White Rice
Mercutio: Another (More Sassy and Streetwise) Cup of Cooked White Rice with about Two Tablespoons of Lime Juice in Him


(Our stage is set as a hot skillet lightly coated in extra virgin olive oil and whole cumin seeds. PICASSO enters stage left)

PICASSO:
OH MY GOD THAT'S HOT!

(PICASSO flounders in the oil, separating into thin white strips of oniony goodness. As PICASSO becomes transparent, A LAZY BROWN FOX and ROSE RED enter stage left and right, respectively)

A LAZY BROWN FOX:
Ha Ha! My cellular structure allows me to run and frolic in the hot sun of this dish. What could dampen my mood now?

ROSE RED:
I am the spiritual fire of a thousand peppers who cried out in anguish, and I will have my revenge!

(ROSE RED carefully follows A LAZY BROWN FOX, coating him in her pungently hot adobo sauce)

A LAZY BROWN FOX:
Ach! Mein Kryptonite!

(TINKERBELL descends from on high, pouring out her contents over the entire skillet)

TINKERBELL:
That should put some marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!

(TINKERBELL exits, stage . . . um, *up*. ROSE RED ties A LAZY BROWN FOX to an iron pylon which descends stage left; ROSE RED begins the traditional interpretive dance of Heat Infusion, smoke rising to the rafters. MERCUTIO and ESTRAGON are now visible backstage as curtain rises amid bubbling tomato sauce)

MERCUTIO:
What is our purpose? Will we merely be covered in this spectacle of opulence we see before us, our true selves run through with the power of the Adobo sauce.

ESTRAGON:
I get this distinct feeling that we must wait until the dish is cooked through and poured over us until we will know.

NARRATOR:
IT IS INDEED SO!

(Curtains Fall)

Fín

* By Anger-Dome, I mean Cahoot's around 1 or 1:30 or so.
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Ninininicat on May 13th, 2006 06:11 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's brilliant!
ninja in the shadows: dancinseiryu_16 on May 13th, 2006 06:57 pm (UTC)
You win. The end.

::applauds::
iophaiopha on May 13th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC)
Post-modernism FTW!
Epic Dude: squelchmorecake on May 14th, 2006 09:50 am (UTC)
Fantastic!
Gostor of Wafflekaulis on May 14th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
But is it tasty?

It *sounds* tasty.
Actually, it sounds delicious.
Hoc Est Qui Sumusdiscoflamingo on May 15th, 2006 04:15 am (UTC)
It is all of those things. And a fantastic red dye.