Hoc Est Qui Sumus (discoflamingo) wrote,
Hoc Est Qui Sumus

Nicotine Purification has a casting time of 48 hours.

Yesterday I forgot to put on a nicotine patch (7mg - step three) to assist me in overcoming the physical component of my addiction. I made it through that time without it, and I'm going to ford on through today without one as well. This time around has been different - I have been more aware of the games my addiction is playing, and less judgmental of myself when I feel certain things. This is mostly because I am either at work or alone through most of this, and the knowledge that I'm not going to blow up at anybody is making this easier.

My inner smoker is a right bastard. He angers, inflames, and overturns the moneychanger tables of my brain so that he can monopolize my attention . I genuinely feel that my addiction is another being living inside of me, and more than anything else, he doesn't want to die. And right now, he's pleading like John Turturro in Miller's Crossing for his own pathetic existence.

Tough shit, Buster.

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