Hoc Est Qui Sumus (discoflamingo) wrote,
Hoc Est Qui Sumus

I found this in my desk - from 1997

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. ("Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews)

1. Squawk: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement" Reply: "Almost replaced left inside main tire"
2. Squawk: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough" Reply: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft"
3. Squawk: "The autopilot doesn't" Signed off: "IT DOES NOW"
4. Squawk: "Something loose in cockpit" Reply: "Something tightened in cockpit"
5. Squawk: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear" Reply: "Evidence removed"
6. Squawk: "Number three engine missing" Reply: "Engine found on right wing after brief search"
7. Squawk: "DME volume unbelievably loud" Reply: "Volume set to more believable level"
8. Squawk: "Dead bugs on windshield" Reply: "Live bugs on order"
9. Squawk: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent" Reply: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground"
10. Squawk: "IFF inoperative" Reply: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode"
11. Squawk: "Friction Locks cause throttle levers to stick" Reply: "That's what they're there for"

12. Squawk A:
"#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid"
Reply A: "#2 Propeller seepage normal"
Squawk B: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage"

  • It's Two Minutes to Midnight, If Anyone Cares

    21:27 Currently looking for a Sousa march that says "I Am a Dashing, Sexy Pirate!". How did my life end up here? #Automatically shipped by…

  • Good sing-along songs?

    O Gentle Readers! I am trying to come up with good songs to practice on my acoustic guitar. Ideally, they are the type of songs that are fun to sing…

  • It can always look up

    Remember: the man who played Richard M. Nixon in Frost/Nixon is the same man who played Skeletor in The Masters of the Universe.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.