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06 September 2002 @ 11:01 am
 
I am more and more, every day, becoming the person I was in high school. I leave social situations when I can't take it, and I can't give a good reason. I don't talk to the people I should, and talk more to myself, which makes my life a living hell. My medication should be back this afternoon, and maybe, in two weeks time, I'll be somewhere back to the person that I used to be, that I liked being. Until then, I'm just an asshole with no social skills, who pushes away the people who might actually care, because I'm afraid to believe that somebody just might.

It is NOT personal, God Damn It.

How would you feel if you suddenly became somebody else, somebody worse than the way you were? And you can't explain why?

None of you need to be hearing this, because this is my problem, not yours. And I'll take care of it in my own way.

Until then, you deal with me as you see fit.

Because I won't care either way, no matter how much I want to, which is a lot.

There is a big gaping hole in my chest, a story that is too long to tell, and the blood is flooding to my head so fast, I don't know what to do.

I've spent almost my whole life serving other people, and doing what they want me to do. Now, I have to learn how to take care of myself.

When you read what I write, again, which will be a long time from now, I will not be me.

Until Then,

Doc