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23 September 2004 @ 03:28 pm
A Quote for Today  
The Landing Pilot is the Non-Handling Pilot until the 'decision altitude' call, when the Handling Non-Landing Pilot hands the handling to the Non-Handling Landing Pilot, unless the latter calls 'go-around', in which case the Handling Non-Landing Pilot continues handling and the Non-Handling Landing Pilot continues non-handling until the next call of 'land' or 'go-around' as appropriate. In view of recent confusions over these rules, it was deemed necessary to restate them clearly.

--- British Airways memorandum, quoted in Pilot Magazine, December 1996
Current Music: Dahler Mendh - Tunak Tunak Tun
(Deleted comment)
Hoc Est Qui Sumusdiscoflamingo on September 23rd, 2004 04:53 pm (UTC)
Yeah - I could read it just fine on the first pass, too. It's just the "restate it clearly" part that I find funny.
Doomutilitygeek on September 24th, 2004 06:47 am (UTC)
It took me twice, but mostly because I was busy thinking that this is why I need to learn to write better documentation. Mine sounds way too much like this for comfort. :-\
Hoc Est Qui Sumusdiscoflamingo on September 23rd, 2004 07:27 pm (UTC)
Another quote
"Today's robots are very primitive, capable of understanding only a few simple instructions such as 'go left', 'go right', and 'build car'." --John Sladek
though she be but little, she is fiercehilabeans on September 23rd, 2004 08:23 pm (UTC)
Re: Another quote
That's... almost scary.
like a hundred billion hot dogs: georgehalf_double on September 24th, 2004 07:30 am (UTC)
Driftwood: "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?...
Fiorello: No, it's no good.
Driftwood: What's the matter with it?
Fiorello: I dunno. Let's hear it again.
Driftwood: It says the, uh, "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."
Fiorello: (pausing) That sounds a little better this time.
Driftwood: Well, it grows on ya. Would you like to hear it once more?
Fiorello: Uh, just the first part.
Driftwood: Whaddaya mean? The...the party of the first part?
Fiorello: No, the first part of the party of the first part.
Driftwood: All right. It says the, uh, "The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract" - Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Fiorello: Yeah, ha, it's-a too long, anyhow. (They both tear off the tops of their contracts.) Now, what do we got left?
Driftwood: Well, I got about a foot and a half. Now, it says, uh, "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract as the party of the second part."
Fiorello: Well, I don't know about that...
Driftwood: Now what's the matter?
Fiorello: I no like-a the second party, either.
Driftwood: Well, you shoulda come to the first party. We didn't get home 'til around four in the morning...I was blind for three days!
Fiorello: Hey, look, why can't-a the first part of the second party be the second part of the first party? Then-a you got something.
Driftwood: Well, look, uh, rather than go through all that again, whaddaya say?
Fiorello: Fine. (They rip out a second part of the contract.)
Driftwood: Now, uh, now I've got something you're bound to like. You'll be crazy about it.
Fiorello: No, I don't like it.
Driftwood: You don't like what?
Fiorello: Whatever it is. I don't like it.
Driftwood: Well, don't let's break up an old friendship over a thing like that. Ready?...
Fiorello: OK. (Another part is torn off.) Now the next part, I don't think you're gonna like.
Driftwood: Well, your word's good enough for me. (They rip out another part.) Now then, is my word good enough for you?
Fiorello: I should say not.
Driftwood: Well, that takes out two more clauses. (They rip out two more parts.) Now, "The party of the eighth part..."
Fiorello: No, that's-a no good. (Tearing.) No.
Driftwood: "The party of the ninth part..."
Fiorello: No, that's-a no good too. (Tearing again with very little remaining, only skinny, thin slivers of paper) Hey, how is it my contract is skinnier than yours?
Driftwood: Well, I don't know. You musta been out on a tear last night. But anyhow we're all set now, aren't we?
Fiorello: Oh sure.
Driftwood: (offering his pen to Fiorello to sign the contract) Now just, uh, just you put your name right down there and then the deal is, is, uh, legal.
Fiorello: I forgot to tell you. I can't write.
Driftwood: (unperturbed) Well, that's all right, there's no ink in the pen anyhow. But listen, it's a contract, isn't it?
Fiorello: Oh sure.
Driftwood: We got a contract...
Fiorello: You bet.
Driftwood: ...no matter how small it is.
Fiorello: Hey, wait, wait. What does this say here? This thing here.
Driftwood: Oh, that? Oh, that's the usual clause. That's in every contract. That just says uh, it says uh, "If any of the parties participating in this contract is shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nullified."
Fiorello: Well, I dunno.
Driftwood: It's all right, that's, that's in every contract. That's, that's what they call a 'sanity clause.'
Fiorello: Ha, Ha, Ha. Ha. Ha. You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause!
Doomutilitygeek on September 24th, 2004 09:25 am (UTC)
I'm thinking Marx brothers. Can't remember the movie, though.