January 13th, 2004

Wonderfalls Flamingos

Zombie Readiness Exercise #1/4 - Bludgeoning Weapons

Poll #232372 Zombie Readiness Exercise #1 - Bludgeoning Weapons

Of the following, which three weapons would you select in event of a zombie attack?

Baseball Bat (Wooden)
0(0.0%)
Baseball Bat (Aluminum)
3(8.3%)
Club (Not a Tree Branch)
0(0.0%)
Quarterstaff
0(0.0%)
Crowbar (Steel)
0(0.0%)
Crowbar (Titanium)
0(0.0%)
Tonfa (Lacquered wood)
1(2.8%)
Nunchaku (Lacquered wood)
0(0.0%)
Tree Branch (Not a Club)
0(0.0%)
Broom
1(2.8%)
Footman's Flail
1(2.8%)
Sledge Hammer
2(5.6%)
Police Baton / Billy Club
0(0.0%)
Brass Knuckles
1(2.8%)


This is the first in a series of polls to determine the readiness of those reading this journal to be first responders in the event of an attack by the Living Dead. For the purposes of this exercise, assume the following:

1. Zombies do not require oxygen or food to be mobile.
2. The only known desire of zombies is to devour the flesh of the living.
3. The "zombie trait/virus" is spread via biting and bodily fluid exchange.
4. A zombie can be rendered harmless (i.e. "dead") only by rendering its brain non-functional (i.e. If you rip the zombie in half about the torso, the top half will still be able to claw and bite you).
5. Zombies are not sentient creatures - they do not possess feelings, emotions, or memories.

When selecting your weapons, remember that only sufficient damage to cause death in a living human will be considerd enough to shatter the skull of a zombie with a blunt weapon, and ensure its destruction.
Wonderfalls Flamingos

Zombie Readiness Exercise #2/4 - Piercing/Slashing Weapons

Poll #232486 Zombie Readiness Exercise #2 - Piercing/Slashing Weapons

P: Of the following, which three weapons would you select in event of a zombie attack?

Board with a Nail(s) in it
1(2.9%)
Long Spear
1(2.9%)
Short Sword
0(0.0%)
Sai(s)
1(2.9%)
Knife
2(5.9%)
Broom with Knife on It
0(0.0%)
Epee/Rapier
1(2.9%)
Naginata
1(2.9%)
Other (Explain in comments)
1(2.9%)

S: Of the following, which three weapons would you select in event of a zombie attack?

Sabre (Cavalry or otherwise)
0(0.0%)
Long Sword (All straight swords up to Bastard length)
1(2.9%)
Katana or Wakizashi
1(2.9%)
Machete
2(5.9%)
Wood Axe
0(0.0%)
Battle Axe
1(2.9%)
Other (Explain in comments)
0(0.0%)
Wonderfalls Flamingos

Zombie Readiness Exercise #3/4 - Firearms/Heavy Weapons

Poll #232501 Zombie Readiness Exercise #3/4 - Firearms/Heavy Weapons

Of the following, which would you select in event of a zombie attack?

Shotgun (Shot)
6(16.2%)
Shotgun (Slugs)
5(13.5%)
AK-47
0(0.0%)
M16 (If you have a version in mind, explain below)
0(0.0%)
Revolver (caliber > .22)
1(2.7%)
.22 Pistol
0(0.0%)
.22 rimfire rifle
0(0.0%)
Carbine rifle
1(2.7%)
JAR (Secret Service issue sniper rifle)
0(0.0%)
SMG (Any submachine gun)
2(5.4%)
Other (explain below)
2(5.4%)
None (explain below)
1(2.7%)

Of the following, whichwould you select in event of a zombie attack?

Grenade launcher
5(13.9%)
Flamethrower
5(13.9%)
RPG/LAW (not a game, Mal)
1(2.8%)
Machine/Chain Gun | SAW
8(22.2%)
Other (Explain below)
0(0.0%)
None (Explain below)
6(16.7%)


Don't complain about a lack of options - bear in mind that you will likely have to carry most of these with you at all times, in addition to any back-up weapons you may have previously selected. The choice is within the category, the total picture is the fourth exercise.