But I have a couple things for y'all to peruse, if you wish -


This article by Dave Barry, which sums up my feelings about the exterior events of last year pretty well. My favorite line would be:
Palestinian and Israeli leaders finally recover the Road Map to Peace, only to discover that, while they were looking for it, the Lug Nuts of Mutual Interest came off the Front Left Wheel of Accommodation, causing the Sport Utility Vehicle of Progress to crash into the Ditch of Despair.
I Used to Believe in the Rapture, And All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt
There needs to be a man page for females.
From
He's dead, Jim. You grab his wallet, I'll grab his tricorder.