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23 June 2003 @ 09:22 pm
Some Interviews  

Fuck Art. Let's Kill.



Questions from the Mighty Desultorif


1.)I have heard that you have been known to sell yourself to the highest bidder, yet seemingly you don't reap any profits (Mac auction-computer homework help)...anyways, my question is what does it really take to buy the Keeper of the Seven Keys of Pintuzlar?

First off, the auction people who bid on my services rarely contacted me to get any help. In order to buy me, you have to have a genuine desire to learn how your computer works, or you'd better be damn cute. I work for nothing less ;)

I like helping people learn about computers and math, because I'm passionate about them (among other things). I enjoy passing this knowledge on to others in a setting conducive to learning. I do NOT enjoy reinforcing computer phobias, luddite tendencies, or general computer stupidity. That would be a job for somebody else.

2.)You were/maybe still are a boyscout of some form. Now, in my experience that organization has the capacity to bring about some strange and hidden qualities in a boy (pyros, knife lovers, etc)...what came about from your participation?

I am, in point of fact, an Eagle Scout. I have too many stories about my Scouting days to relate here - suffice it to say, that I have encountered all of the stereotypical pyro/knife-lover people in Scouts, but I was mostly in Scouts because it was comprised almost entirely of gamers who were good people. I was also a patriotic Republican sometime in my past, but then I learned better. It also served as a rite of passage in a world without any. But that's a story for another time . . .

3.)I was eating grapes the other day, (in Japan the suck the inside out and leave the skin...so weird), and I was told that you have had your fair bit of experience in the realm of relations, describe your ideal.

Wow - that's a truly bizarre way to phrase a question. I have no ideal in a relationship - my mother (and others) tell me that I have "lost sheep" syndrome - by which they mean to say that I am attracted to generally quiet/modest people who never see the light of day (and who are generally untanned and usually pale). I can't argue too much with this based on past experience (no offense intended), but I tend to look for some of the same things in most people - they need to be a good person (by which I mean kind, caring, courteous, and mature). If they see themselves as none of these things, they probably qualify. Oh yeah - they should probably be a woman ;)

4.)Although you come across as being a jovial guy, upon first meeting, after peeling away some of the layers, one is quick to discover that you have a fair amount of pain to your being, out of curiosity, why does one such as yourself choose to watch or read materials that you know will inevitably bring you down?

I think it's important to accept that life has happy times and bad times. That few people refuse to admit that the "bad" things in life exist (or should be explored in any way) I almost feel like I have an obligation to seek them out and listen to their story. Also? Chronically happy people want to get me whittlin' a hate-stick . . .

5.)Space...not quite a final frontier, but a dream of many people in their youth. Tell me, in your youth, what were your aspirations and have you felt that you have achieved or have you found other aspirations? Has this been a let down or just a part of growing up?

I feel like whatever aspirations I had as a child were for my childhood - they got me this far, and my current aspirations will get me farther, until I'm dead. There's only so much work I can do in a single lifetime, and only so much time to commit to examining my personal history.

6.)Last one, everyone has their addictions...what is one addiction that you have that is not as apparent as say drinking/smoking/etc...doesn't have to be a private one (meant for behind closed doors either) but one that you are likely to exhibit in front of others and perhaps don't even really think anything of it...(double knotting your shoe-laces, cracking your joints, typing millions of "...")

I use the ellipsis ( . . . ) like it's going out of style - I'm also a grammar fucking whore who doesn't admit it when I make mistakes. I also crack my neck when I feel threatened. Satisfied?


Questions from the Inimicable WonderlandKat


1. You have been chosen to enter a word into the OED. What is the word and what does it mean?

LART - it deserves to be in there. It stands for Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool. The canonical Lart is a 2x4. A luser is a computer user who is a pain in the ass to an operator, either personally or by screwing things up.

2. What's a worse job- data entry or babysitting? Why?

Data entry - you don't get to talk to little kids, and little kids are about a dozen times more interesting than a recorded mortgage. At least kids will spit up and draw on the wall with paint thinner - a mortgage doesn't keep you on your toes, really.

And if anybody reading this needs a babysitter in the Twin Cities area (who's willing to pay $9 an hour or more), my c.v. is available upon request.

3. You get in the mail a box for your birthday. It's the perfect present that you wanted. What is it and who sent it?

It's a letter that says "I love you". I don't want to know who sent it.

4. You have a chance to go back and re-live one relationship (romantic, filial, just friends) and have all the experiences over plus make any changes in your behavior that you want. What is the relationship? Do you change your behavor? Why or why not?

I would probably choose Crystal (the canonical "girl who ruined my life"), and the only behaviour that I'd change is that I'd kiss her once, and see if that changed anything.

5. So you've graduated. Remember back to long ago when you were dreaming of college. Was it what you dreamed of/expeceted? What was different? What was the same?

I thought I might actually meet women in college - and boy was I wrong. I thought people might appreciate me for who I am - and that seemed to go okay. I didn't think all the bad things that happened would have happened - but they did, and there was never any expectation there. I don't know.



Questions from the Ubiquitous Avatar of Chaos


1 so, lets say you lose your memory every day. what kind of steps would you take for the rest of your life? (consider that you may somedy get your memory back.

I'll answer this one when I get some clarification - how much of my memory do I lose? How much do I actually remember every day? Do I still know how to read when I wake up? (I hope so) Do I have access to any equipment I could like? Do I have a job?

2 wow! somehow, everybody thinks you wrote this really spiffy book! but wait...you did? which one is it?

It's probably called The Raven's Rubric, and it's my first collection of poems.

3 the little less than standard "what superhero's life would you delve your conciousness into?"

Nightcrawler, most likely - he's a sexy beast who knows German, has been in a circus, is well-educated, and likes the ladies. Except for the ritual scarrification thing, I'd want to be him.

4 what's one class you would like to take, made up or not, with anyone as the teacher, on any subject or idea?

It's called Bruce Lee Teaches You How to Become One with Yourself and Kick Ass, taught by Bruce Lee. It would probably take a couple of years.

5 wow. there is this song that totally desrcibes something really important to you. what is it and what does it describe?

It's called "Me and My Big Ideas" by Tears for Fears - and it almost completely describes (or, more precisely, reminds me of) my conscious problems with relationships.



If I misinterpreted any of the questions, please let me know. And if you think I'm cheating, tell me that as well. And yes, I'm still working on the others - events forthcoming will relate their tardiness. If you decided that you want some questions, I'll get them to you when I'm done with the first ones.
 
 
Current Music: Beck - Loser
 
 
 
King of the Voidabaddonx99 on June 23rd, 2003 07:58 pm (UTC)
Doc, since you're whoring yourself out, I will take your challenge and let you ask me your questions n.
Desultorifdesultorif on June 23rd, 2003 08:19 pm (UTC)
Not damn cute and I can give and take on computer learning...Oh yeah-I'm not a female either, but if it is not a bother could you fix me up an interview?
lord and master of the broken children: confused chibiavatarofchaos on June 23rd, 2003 08:25 pm (UTC)
*mutters to self that hearing you impose your OWN guidelines might have been interesting*

ok. let's say that you loose all concious memory, so you could still "remember" how to read, but not what you've read. you can still wlak and all that, and know how to talk. and you remember enough to know that you don't remember what happened the day before, so you know you know peope, but not who they are or why you know them. emotional stuff to me isn't memory, but feeling, so you can make the call whether you still feel things for people, even if you can't remember them. full access on equipment, and you can be batman if you want to.

so..BWAH! *scampers*
Do You Wanna Be Free or You Wanna Be Right?malcubed on June 23rd, 2003 09:25 pm (UTC)
Fuck Killing. Let's Fuck.

That node is so lame, if only because A: they say nothing useful at all, and B: they skip the second half.

If you feel the need, you can Q: me, but I'll warn you in advance that A:s will take a few weeks at minimum, and still be hastily improvised and a bit pants.
masui on June 23rd, 2003 09:51 pm (UTC)
i still want questions too. :(
astcetc snafuwonderlandkat on June 24th, 2003 06:50 am (UTC)
question me when you have a chance?
like a hundred billion hot dogshalf_double on June 24th, 2003 08:26 am (UTC)
"I thought I might actually meet women in college - and boy was I wrong.?

You met plenty of women in college. Such a shame we all turned out to be lesbians. Plus, you're still under that damned curse - must put a crimp in your usual pimpin' style.
atelierlune on June 24th, 2003 06:59 pm (UTC)
But! We! Weren't!!!

:: big sigh::

Mr. Flamingo, would you prefer if I gave you questions first??
Hoc Est Qui Sumusdiscoflamingo on June 24th, 2003 09:14 pm (UTC)
"Pimpin style"? Surely you jest, yon Robodyke
I think we both know what I mean - and in a manner of speaking, I think we encounterd opposite ends of the same problem, so to speak. ::nudge-nudge, wink-wink, snap-snap, grin-grin, saynuhmo:: The problem being that, we both met women, just not the right type - and not necessarily in the plumbing dept., I might add. Eh - I meet lots of women, wherever I go. Whether they slap a restraining order on me immediately or wait the five days to get the hand gun, well, that's just Ladies' Choice, idnt it?

I also don't think the curse is lifting anytime soon - although I'm tempted to enter it into the Citypages Personals contest and see how it does.
McGhievermcghiever on June 24th, 2003 08:46 pm (UTC)
[The song that really describes me]'s called "Me and My Big Ideas" by Tears for Fears - and it almost completely describes (or, more precisely, reminds me of) my conscious problems with relationships.

I came across a song by a New Zealand pop band called the Chills that seemed to be describing my interpersonal perspective perfectly with lines like:
"I have no patience for anyone, but I'd love some time for you.
"'Cause you're so, so, so beautiful, why aren't you mine?
"I've got nothing to say to anyone, but we can really talk, us two."

So I was thoroughly mortified when I saw that the name of the song, not said in the lyrics, was "Wet Blanket".