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10 May 2003 @ 08:13 pm
So many who have walked in and out of a person's life, and never even realized it. They won't think about it ever again, and will therefore never regret it. They lack awareness of their actions, and the repercussions of their actions. They lack a beginner's mind and a focus on now. They will wander through the rest of their life thinking that something is missing, but shy away from the one place inside of themselves where they know it is, since it would mean that the map they've drawn for themselves is flawed (and needs to be corrected). They shrink from change because it is often painful - they forget how healing always hurts, like the bone that must mend, or the wound that must close. They become complacent and self-satisfied, arrogant and smug.

You deceive the best parts of yourself when you tell somebody that you cared, when you never did; you deceive yourself when you believe that you are wedded to the people fate has cast upon you; you camouflage the light for the comfort of darkness. You refuse to move on - you prefer the lifelessness of stagnation and decay.

Move on, traveler.
Current Music: Front 242 - Headhunter (Empirion Mix)
masui on May 10th, 2003 11:39 pm (UTC)
I'm a going.
atelierlune on May 11th, 2003 07:28 pm (UTC)
I think you might be a little too hard on yourself here. Everybody's got stuff they've got to get away from - but you can't instantly ::snaps fingers:: have the right mind/heart/strength. Sometimes people don't even know when they're stuck in something that's not taking them anywhere. If we did, well, Things'd be different, ne?

If Ichiro were here, he'd tell me/you that we are young. We can't Know Everything. All we can do is trust in the Great Teacher's timing, and do our best, ne?

But what do you think?
Hoc Est Qui Sumus: Haikudiscoflamingo on May 11th, 2003 07:50 pm (UTC)
I'm just talking to the leaves.
I'm talking to the people who believe they've found the answers, and are far too comfortable to ever care about changing.
I'm talking to all the people who refuse to examine their lives, because they might be wrong.
I'm talking to everyone who is deaf to the voice of the Great Teacher, and refuses to be healed.

Und Kess ke say Ichiro?
atelierlune on May 11th, 2003 08:22 pm (UTC)
reality like the 38th floor of a glass building
Ichiro = host father.

It's hard, you know? There are things in this life that I feel truely, absolutely certain of - and I'm frightened because I'm either right (in which case I'm fine) or entirely wrong, which means that I cannot trust my mind, my feelings, the foundations on which I built myself, the foundations I've used to test those things I'm so bloody sure of.... I'm not afraid to look these things in the face, but if they're all false, and life as I know it is a lie... then what? What the bloody heck am I doing!?!?

But I digress.

And the complacent? Complacency is different from being firm in your convictions. Complacency sucks. A pastor at my church said once that God is a gentlemen, and if you refuse His offer of help, He leaves you alone until you change your mind, or you run out of time. And that's REALLY scary.

I can see how being certain of your convictions (for better or for worse), being complacent, and just being stubborn can all look like the same thing. ::shiver::