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14 December 2004 @ 04:49 pm
How to make a Doom Movie that will Surprise Everyone and Fans Might Watch  
1. Play through the game, write down what happens. This is your storyboard - don't fuck with it.
2. Adapt the storyboard to your script.
3. Notice that there is no dialogue, nor shots from anywhere other than first-person. Let the marine grunt; maybe have some pan-outs from far away.
4. You're thinking about fucking with it - stop it, you idiot.
5. Get Jean-Jacques Annaud to make it like a first-person version of The Bear, but with about a thousand times more violence.
6. Win a Palmes D'or at Cannes - surprise the shit out of everybody.
7. Profit Handsomely.

Don't do what this guy did. What an idiot.
 
 
 
nettness: RON!bondchick_nett on December 14th, 2004 03:14 pm (UTC)
*standing ovation*
Stable Strangeletcuthalion on December 14th, 2004 03:22 pm (UTC)
Are you talking about the first DOOM? The one where you fight all of 10 different monsters, 2367 times?

I think it would take some serious adaptation for that to be made interesting, even as an art film.
Hoc Est Qui Sumusdiscoflamingo on December 14th, 2004 07:29 pm (UTC)
Let's say the franchise, then.
Happylittledevilhappy_l_devil on December 14th, 2004 11:10 pm (UTC)
I don't know man. I agree in principle certainly, but a first-person movie? Hmm.
Hoc Est Qui Sumusdiscoflamingo on December 15th, 2004 09:32 am (UTC)
Have you ever seen The Bear? It's a movie that should work in principle that I am consistently amazed is any good at all.